My boy Jacob....
At Green Park, we have things called Pride necklaces. Kids have to earn them based on good behavior. They allow the kids special priveleges and just point them out as leaders. Jacob has had one since he started at Green Park. He truly "prides" himself on keeping the necklace.
Today, he got his necklace taken away by a teacher. From what I gathered, someone cut in line, he cut in line back, she pushed, he pushed...caught. Jacob was SO upset. I really need to learn that he is never ready to talk immediately, but of course, I'm stubborn in that way. He got really upset when I tried to talk to him. But I was only trying assure him that I wasn't angry, those things happen, etc. He just didn't want to hear any of it. Fortunately, he was able to spend about an hour with Michael this afternoon, who is not pushy. My boys just hung out together, which is what makes them happy.
But, the thing that got me, was when I finally was able to get him to talk tonight. I asked him why he was so upset. He said, "Mom, I promised myself that I wouldn't put myself in situations where I might get my necklace taken away." *SIGH* How do you explain to a 10-year old that sometimes we have the best of intentions and life happens! Accidents, mistakes, reactions--they're going to happen. He can be so hard on himself. I know it is because I am so hard on him, but at the end of the day, I hope I'm raising him to have strong morals and character. I'd say that today was an excellent example of his character.
wow. I mean WOW! You HAVE to be overflowing with pride. Not that he had the necklace taken away but that he recognizes a complex character quaility that he wants to achieve! And honestly what a fabulous learning moment for him to have the "incident." It will help show him that even those who are ever vilgant in their behavior will have moments when they are not at their best. But that moment doesn't define them or destory them. It helps them grow by allowing them to forgive the others invovled and (most importantly) themselves.
ReplyDeleteAs for your need to talk right away. I have that issue too. And talk it to death is another problem I have. I am certain that he knows you only wanted to help. Don't be upset with yourself for loving him and wanting to help even if he wasn't ready yet.
xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment you left, I know you understand what I've been feeling...I appreciated your honesty!
Regarding Jacob, I agree completely! Character and integrity are the most important things we can teach our kids and these incidences can be hard for kids and for us but they do help kids learn so much about making the right choices. Growing up isn't easy...