The Post I Waited to Write

When my dad had his fall and big scare in November, writing came easy to me.  Somewhere in our subconscious, one knows that our parents are going to pass away.  

And of course, we want it to be later, much much later.  

My thoughts instantly went to, "This is too soon.  This can't be happening.  Not yet."
I had a need to get my thoughts in "paper".

But when we had a brush with death this weekend with Michael, my brain went through all of the things we still had to do together and truly, that we were to be together forever.  Kids to raise, weddings to attend, grandkids to spoil, retirement to enjoy, empty nesting, traveling--my list is full of "to-do's" with him.  You don't dream of spending one single day without your soul.  I have been tending to my head & heart and haven't been ready to put things into print.

Most of my close friends know that he was transported to the E.R. for full on symptoms of a heart attack last Saturday.  This was my view for about 36 hours once we were admitted.

We were able to bring the boys up late Saturday night after Michael got moved to a room.  They needed to see him and talk with him.  Thankfully, we live with comedy boy, who was thoroughly entertained by the fact that he could take a *beep* and a shower at the same time.  He also loved the bed and all of its bells and whistles.

And while Jacob had a great time...this is what being stressed for 2 days does to me...ugh...couldn't sleep without Michael home and worrying about which test was going to send up flags next.

Manage the pain, settle his heart, blood work, tests and more tests.  While we found out a lot, it also seemed as if we found out very little.  Multiple doctor appointments this week and tons of frustrating calls later, for now, we stay par for course and are scheduled to see a new doctor in April.  Michael's got his smile back and pep.  Within a day, he was back at the Y and back to work.  He didn't let it stop him one bit.  And he was thrilled to get to go the band concert for his boys.

Our boys were amazing.  Helpful, calm and so worried about their dad.  It kept them very close to his side for quite a few days.  They headed back to school and checked on dad frequently.

This little girl missed her daddy too and never left his side.

I didn't call the oldest, because he is so self-absorbed in games...it gets exhausting and disappointing.
McKenly's mom called frequently to check on Michael.  We decided to not worry McKenly about it unless it became necessary.
And really, we kept it pretty quiet for a while...until it leaked on Facebook. How thankful I am that it did.  We live in a small town, so word traveled fast.  Although we completely relied on my parents those first 24 hours, our friends and family surrounded Michael with calls, texts, emails and cookies!  They were willing to do anything for us and shared the utmost concern for their friend.

All seems to be back to normal for now.  He even insisted on finishing washing the car that he was washing when all hell broke loose on Saturday.  I gotta say, I love this view.

I always appreciate normal.  I always have.  But more so now.  I DO expect to be with Michael forever, physically and spiritually. 
I wore my Boston jacket yesterday, because sometimes you just need that reminder of how strong you are all the way around.  I kept it together for the first two days.  Had a minor melt down on the third day and took the next day to suck in a LOT of deep breaths and remind myself.
"We are here.  We are fine.  All is well."
And damn...this Carpenter family is S*T*R*O*N*G!